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  • nhswesleye

Having a Fiance' who doesn't Mind I don't Drive.

Updated: May 28, 2022

So I don’t know how to make a fancy introduction to this post, so I’ll just start writing my thoughts. If one is familiar with my condition of hydrocephalus, and how it impacts my depth perception, and overall ability to do certain things in life, you’re cognizant about how in life I am unable to drive. I tried at the age of sixteen but failed miserably, again at eighteen, a duplicate performance, twenty-one, twenty-five, and twenty-eight. If one hasn't recognized, or understood why I encourage you to go back and read the article also posted on my page "0-100 Driving with Hydrocephalus."

There is a hilarious line on the old Nickelodeon show, “Hey Arnold,” where one of the characters is quoted as saying: “Try, try, and try again. And if that doesn’t work, you just wasted a bunch of time trying to do something you just couldn’t do!”

Now this is hyperbole of course, using this example, but the more I got older, the less, and less comfortable I continued to get, as opposed to me getting more comfortable as I thought would be the case!

Those dreams of arriving at a girlfriend’s house in my clean car dreams were done. It just was never meant to happen. “What girl would want to be with me knowing I could never drive, or pick them up????” I had often thought to myself…. It was in God’s hands though. I knew He would have a solution for me, so I never really worried about it.

Enter meeting the woman of my dreams, in my fiance’ Kayla Parker! After making it official as a couple with Kayla, the last thing I mentioned, (and yes I did this purposefully), was say to her “Oh, by the way, I have a condition called hydrocephalus that doesn’t allow me to drive. If you think this will be a problem moving forward, then we might as well end this before we start, because there is nothing I can really do at this point."

The response from my statement I received from her was one, nothing short of the woman I had been praying for my entire life! Not just because of the driving situation I am forever going to be in, but because this was a sign of her wanting and willing to make an adjustment for me. Not only did she say she didn’t have a problem with my predicament, but she also told me she loved driving. Even if it meant driving an hour from her home in Pittsburg to see me in Union City.

Still in my head, I was like ‘Kayla says this now, but I am sure after about two, three months she will be like: “okay… I am done making this hour drive.”

If God didn’t have in his plans for our relationship to be, and meant to last, I wouldn’t be sitting here as I write this engaged to the love of my life! I am sure that would have been her response, however God put us together for a reason! God gave me someone to partner with who was good at adaptability, someone who is caring, loving, and willing to make an effort for the sake of me! That’s real love! That’s what I have always dreamed of having. With Kayla willing to drive, and pick me up everywhere or time we go somewhere, I make sure, I have the money to always make sure she has a full tank, and be the one to pump it. It's the least I could do, and I always without hesitation do it.

There is a song by Michael Jackson that I recently rediscovered that made me think of how amazing, and loving Kayla is to me. I heard it on the radio, and was like these lyrics, and the feelings I get when I hear this is exactly the emotions I get when I reflect on our time together.

"...Let me fill you with my dreams, I can make you feel alright, and baby through the years, gonna love you more each day, so I promise you tonight, that you'll always be the lady of my life!"

I might not be able to drive Kayla places, but I will always try and be by her side when driving in this world, and when I am not driving with her, I will always be praying for her to make it to her destination safely. So that I can see her beautiful smiling face again another day. The driving situation that our relationship is in isn't ideal, and I understand that. It will never be easy, but I know we had bigger things things to think about in our relationship. Kayla understood this, I believe she knew, and still believes I am a good hearted person to the core, and worth the effort to put forth for.

Together we can travel the world together, even if that means I will forever be on the passenger side of Kayla's ride. She'll never know just how much love and appreciation I have for all her efforts in keeping our relationship strong, not letting something as minute as distance for having to drive a long ways just to see me. Counting down the days til we will never have to drive to see each other again though for sure! T-Minus four hundred and twenty four days away from this post!

Pictured below is when we both (or Kayla rather, drove us down to Monterey!)

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